“When some one loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” – Billy, age four, as reported on the internet
Your child’s security with you is fundamental for their well-being and development. When they feel safely attached, they have the courage and assurance to explore their world and develop their personality.
A healthy attachment is characterized by feeling, safe, secure, loved, and comforted within the parent-child relationship.
We form attachments through our life with people we love or see as a potential safe haven and source of comfort. Over time, people can become attached not only to their parents, but other relationships, like siblings, grandparents, romantic partners, and close friends. On a spiritual level, God can also be an attachment figure. We often use our experiences from our childhood to teach us how to attach to others as adults.
As a parent, you can encourage your child’s healthy attachment to you by being safe, consistent, and emotionally reliable for them.
Dr. Sue Johnson uses this acronym to describe how we can connect in our relationships. As a parent, this is how you can answer your child’s innate question, “Are you there for me?”
A.R.E. Are You There For Me?
A. Accessibility: Can I reach you? Will you pay attention to me?
R. Responsiveness: Can I rely on you to respond and care about my feelings?
E. Engagement: Will you value me? Will you put my needs first? Will you stay close?
10 Tips for Showing Love to Your Children
- Tell them you love them, don’t assume they already know.
- Look them in the eyes when they are talking to you.
- Participate with them in an activity or hobby they enjoy.
- Give them limits and boundaries consistently with firmness and kindness.
- Listen to them when they are speaking. Ask follow up questions.
- Tell them you are sorry if you make a mistake.
- Consistently show them love, be accessible so they know they can reach you.
- Allow them patience and respect if they make a mistake. Be approachable.
- Play with them celebrex 200 mg. At any age, play with them. Make time for them. 15 minutes of play time every day will do wonders.
- Give them physical affection. Hugs, back rubs, hold them, cuddle, etc. Even teens like physical affection with hugs or an arm around their shoulders. They need to feel their parents’ affection.